Interview with Ratchet
by The Mad Dragon
Summary: The solution to all your TF headaches.


**DISCLAIMER:**** ME NO OWN-Y!**

**AN: This is basically how I've learned to understand the TF universe.... most of it anyway....**

"This is Erin Tanner reporting from the headquarters of the alien robot known as the Autobots. Today we've been granted an interview with one of the crewmembers so that we can better understand our new neighbors. I'll be interviewing the Autobot medic, Ratchet. Ratchet, how are you today?"

"I'm functioning at top levels, thank you. I'm glad you're here today, we here in the Ark have gotten wind of certain myths that we'd like to clear up," Ratchet said as he looked down on the small humans on his work station.

"Well, the first question on our agenda; how did the war with the Decepticons start?"

"Well, I wasn't alive yet when it _truly _started, but I have learned of all the actions that began the war." Ratchet leaned back in his chair and steepled his finger, "Arguably, it began with an energon miner's riot. The security forces on duty were forced to open fire on the miners, unfortunatley this had greater repercussions than they could have ever predicted. One of the miners became enraged and brutally slaughtered three of the security officers with his mining tools. The riot was put down, and the miner was arrested but the damage was done. For, you see, this miner's name was Megatron."

"What started the riot?"

"The miners were being laid off due to the mine going dry."

"And how precisely did this make Megatron start off the war?"

"While on route to a prison facility, Megatron and several other dangerous convicts escaped. From here he went on to participate in several years of illegal gladitorial combat. Little did anyone know, Megatron's ambitions were far greater than merely contending in battle. Eventually, he took complete control of the underground arena's. But he no longer allowed them to fight to the death. It later became clear to us that he was building an army."

"What did the Autobots do to stop him."

"Nothing. We had no idea where the arena's were. We didn't even know Megatron _had _an army until... until Iacon."

"Iacon?"

"Iacon city was one of our biggest and most important cities. It had the most energon, and it was were we docked most of our warships. In the dead of night, Megatron and his army unleashed Hell. The security forces were overrun and destroyed. It was the first battle of the Great War. From that point on, the newly built Decepticon army spread over Cybertron and her colonies like a plague virus."

"Perhaps we should move to more agreeable topics? These questions about how the war began seem to upset you."

"That would be nice, thank you."

"Seeing as how you are the Autobot medic, you may be the authority on this topic. How exactly do Cybertronians reproduce?"

Ratchet smiled, "Ah, that's quite simple. You see, all Transformers have a sphere of energy called a spark, in human terms, this functions as both our physical heart and our metaphoric soul. All we do to reproduce is simply build a new body -a very complicated process- and take a small piece of our spark and implant it in the body. Hopefully, the spark fragment will adapt to the body and grow into a new spark, and a new Cybertronian will be born."

"Doesn't sound _quite_ as romantic as the human way." Erin said with a small chuckle.

"Oh, it can be. Sometimes a couple will build a body together, and both take pieces of their sparks and let them fuse into the new being. This way of reproduction has a much greater success rate."

"Ah, I see. And how does gender work for your species? We've seen examples of what you call 'femmes.'"

"Ah, well that's also simple. When a Cybertronian first comes online, they are adults. Before we first encountered organics, we had no concept of 'childhood.' Instead, we implant very large tracks of information that sum up history, science, mathematics, geology, and combat capabilites. And when that mech or femme comes online, they make a conscious _choice_ to either be male or female. Femmes are also known for being much, much faster and manueverable than a standard mech, although, they sacrifice body strength and armor in comparison."

"Sounds very.... efficient. Does a cybertronian ever change genders throughout their life?"

"Occasionally. They mostly change in order to make spark reproduction easier. But it's a very complicated process."

"In that, I think our species has something in common," they share a laugh, "and parental relationships? How do those work?"

"Most of the time, a parent will feel an emotional connection to their creation. But it rarely goes on to be more than a close friendship."

"If I may be blunt, your answers about reproduction don't answer the current... mental state of the Dinobots. They seem almost primitive."

Ratchet shuffled in his chair uncomfortably, "That's becaus ethey are primitive. We had very, very limited material when we made them. When Wheeljack told me about his 'small brain' idea, Perceptor and I had our concerns. Pit, I'm surprised they're even _sentient._ In order to compensate for their limited cognitive functions, we gave them very powerful bodies."

"Why not replace their brains?"

"Because that would kill them. While a spark contains the soul, the memory core is what lets us think, and as a medic, I forbid myself from harming patients."

"What about Transformers that combine together? How does that work?"

"That's complicated. You basically have multiple sparks and brains controlling a single body all at once. A confused combiner is a dangerous thing to have on the battlefield. Which is why we Autobots avoid building them."

"Witnesses have often heard Transformers calliong out to a 'Primus.' Who might that be?"

"Primus is the creator of the Transformer race. His origins are unknown, all we know is that he created Thirteen very, _very,_ powerful Transformers at the begining of our history. These Thirteen have since disapeared, and their names have been lost to the ages."

"Well, that's all the questions I had to ask. Thank you for your time, Ratchet."

"You're welcome, if you have any more questions, I'll gladly answer them."

END.


End file.
